I'm a f17, had my hocd since I was 13.

I went through all sorts of spikes and fears, and somehow managed to pull through all of them,
but my current one is THE WORST.

I have a feeling like I'm already gay and came out and that everyone thinks I'm obviously gay since I never had a bf, and am pretty shy when it comes to that (only a few of my really close friends know who I crushed on), but I know for a fact that I did have a lot of boys that I wanted to notice me.

Not even reassurance helps me anymore. When this hell started I would at least get that 'splash' of relief whenever I would manage to reassure myself that indeed I'm not gay, but now that doesn't happen. I'm either mildly anxious or so anxious to the point of not being able to see a picture of a girl without getting intrusive thoughts (which don't bother me anymore...idk, I guess my mind is used to that $#%^ by now).

What I wanna ask is if anyone is going through the similar experience now and if you have any thoughts please share bc I'm lost right now